Male accountability partner
How are you doing in your marriage? Every couple faces challenges, and may need outside help at times. One great idea is to take a reputable marriage course with a proven track record, which will equip you with practical strategies to keep your marriage healthy and strong. Another good strategy is finding a trustworthy accountability partner to walk alongside and keep you motivated to do the right thing.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Dee-1 - Accountability Partner [Official Video] ft. Ambush and Alexis JonesContent:
- What Makes an Accountability Partner?
- Choosing the “Right” Accountability Partner
- Who’s Your REAL Accountability Partner?
- A Bible Study for Men’s Accountability Partners
- 5 Important Tips for Choosing the Best Accountability Partner
- Should Your Wife Be Your Accountability Partner?
- Christian Accountability Partner: A Beginner’s Guide
What Makes an Accountability Partner?
We have a lot of husbands who use our accountability software. Some of them have really struggled in the past with viewing pornography online, and they are doing all they can to protect their eyes and their hearts from lustful images. Some husbands have not struggled with Internet porn, so they use our software to make sure they never do. There are many good reasons why accountability is healthy for marriage.
Marriage thrives on openness, honesty, and vulnerability. In contrast, when husbands and wives are in the habit of keeping secrets from each other, this deteriorates communication and trust. Accountability is also important for Internet use. The Internet is a virtual mine field of sensual images.
The Internet can also sap tons of our time and attention. When we surf the Web in solitude and secrecy, away from our families, we run the risk of spending countless hours wasting time, and possibly bonding with women made of pixels rather than bonding with our wives.
If time in front of the computer is getting in the way of time together, this needs to be communicated. Husbands and wives ought to have an open door policy literally when it comes to Internet surfing: to build trust and integrity, the office or bedroom door needs to stay unlocked and opened when you are online. Certainly some men can spend long hours on the computer for legitimate work-related reasons.
Again, expectations need to be communicated. If a man needs to spend a few extra hours on the computer, there should be an open discussion about that with his wife so that she understands his reasons for being online. Some men who use our software make sure that their Internet accountability reports are sent to their wives. The last people they want to hurt are their wives. As they see a consistent track record of clean and porn-free surfing, this builds trust. If a husband has just been caught or just confessed to a habit of viewing porn, this can be devastating to a wife.
Feelings of rejection, resentment, anger, and fear can be overwhelming. There will also likely be confused thoughts, a sense of craziness or even hopelessness that sets in. Couples in this situation must face the broken trust, broken communication, and broken intimacy that has resulted from his secret life of lust. These feelings are natural and common for a woman in this situation. In these difficult emotional situations, it may be best to find a man or a group of men to hold the husband accountable.
These men should also be people that the wife can trust to do their part in helping her husband though his sin. My suggestion: Be involved in a church. Find a good church, a good community of Christians who have strong, godly leaders with integrity.
When a marriage goes through hard times, when husbands and wives sin against each other, in the church they can find counsel and godly mentoring to help them through tough times. I highly recommend reading the three-part story written by Laura Booz. She tells the story about how her own husband confessed his porn addiction, how he found accountability, how they navigated through the rough waters, and how their church was instrumental in bringing them through.
Did you catch your husband watching porn? Learn the answers to common questions, tips to productive conversations, steps to setting boundaries, and how to determine the next steps for your marriage.
My husband is envolved in the church, but he still does his porn thing secretly. He has been through counseling and is now back on the platform singing every Sunday and Friday.
Your struggle to make sense of this is understandable, both from a female point of view and from the standpoint of morality.
Obviously, the people serving to lead the church in any capacity cannot be perfect—no one is—but neither should they be nurturing a secret sin on the side. Because this has been a problem in the past, you undoubtedly have some history involving others, perhaps even your church leadership.
At this point, he has obviously decided to compartmentalize his problem, a common coping mechanism among men. The ability of men to separate the issues of life into categories and compartments is a God-given ability that helps us think clearly during crisis, which can be a great blessing to women.
Unfortunately, every gift has a dark side. In this case, the ability to separate sin from church helps your husband maintain a double-life. Your job as his partner is to help him reintegrate his life. Sin loses its power when the light of truth is shown upon it. At least not right away. Give him to opportunity to confess this sin and get help on his own.
Of course, you will have to apply some pressure in the form of a tough-love confrontation. You will need to adapt the general principles to your specific circumstances. For example, the letter you carefully prepare and then read might include something like the following:.
I believe in you, and I know you can beat this with the right help and through the power of the Holy Spirit. But this is something you must do for yourself. If you do what is right, I will be there to support you. If you do not, I will need to take this matter to the church leadership. For the sake of your marriage and for the health and welfare of your husband, refuse to remain a silent partner in his sin.
I recently discovered that my boyfriend has been struggling with an addiction to pornography for many years. Two months ago, I stumbled across porn on his computer. I felt extremely angry, disgusted, and betrayed, and I confronted him about it. Although he had told me before that he struggled with sexual temptations, he never revealed to me the full extent of the problem. We have been dating for about 5 years now and have been talking about getting married.
Yet neither one of us wants to bring this into our marriage. I have told him that I will not marry him if this behavior continues. He feels the same, and seems resolved to face this addiction seriously, now that it is in the open.
He says that he wants to be free from porn, but he also feels hopeless because he has tried fighting this for years. My boyfriend and I are both Christians, and have tried to abstain from sex before marriage.
It has been very difficult because we are in love and have been dating for so long we met at a young age. If we were married, we could direct our sexual energy toward each other, which I believe is what God intended. Yet I have also read so many posts, written by wives whose husbands continue to struggle with porn.
I am afraid. Does this get any easier within the context of marriage? My boyfriend has installed Covenant Eyes on his computer, and after talking, we decided that I would be added as one of his accountability partners. Although I initially wanted that, now I am not sure that it is a good idea, or that I will be able to handle it.
Because he kept secrets from me in the past, now I want to know everything. I find it hard to trust him and feel that he needs to earn back my trust. I thought that being his accountability partner would help me to trust again and ease some of my anxieties. Just the fact that he is willing to sign me up as an accountability partner means a lot to me and shows me that he wants to be completely transparent with me.
I want to be able to talk with him about the root of the problem. I want find a way to be vulnerable with him about sins that I struggle with, so that we can be accountable to each other for our words, thoughts, and actions.
I am still unsure about this whole thing…Should I be one of his accountability partners or not? Any advice? Many couples do not address these sort of issues prior to making a marriage covenant. Second, your boyfriend is in a difficult fight, but there can be victory over it.
Our faith in Christ is not only the thing that ties us to His saving grace, but it is the thing that ties us to His sanctifying grace.
Third, sexual temptations can get easier in the context of marriage, but sex in marriage does not neutralize temptation or the desires of the flesh. Paul certainly believed marriage was a God-given relationship that could curb sexual immorality 1 Cor , but Paul also counseled married couples to pursue a God-centered, servant-hearted marriages. As you read forward in 1 Corinthians 7 you see a healthy married couple is one that does not see sexual pleasure as a self-centered, but self-giving vv.
For many men, years of solo-sex through masturbation and pornography has trained their minds to grasp selfishly at sexual pleasure and this is a habit that must be broken. There is much to be said about not unnecessarily postponing marriage.
Many Christians have bought into the belief that delaying marriage is always good advice so we can finish education, launch careers, become financially independent, and prove our worth.
But God designed marriage as a formative institution, a tool in His hands to shape us as we move through life. Delaying marriage is sometimes a recipe for unnecessary temptations. It has only some to do with hormones. It has a lot more to do with his heart. I would advise you to find godly men and women in your church who can help you both work through the decision process. This gets to your last question. Should you be one of his accountability partners?
I do not believe a wife or girlfriend can do all the work of real, biblical accountability for her husband or boyfriend. For one it is often too taxing on the relationship to continually touch the raw nerve of past sexual temptations. And three, a man can and should pursue godly friendships and mentor relationships with other men in the body of Christ.
He needs discipleship. Tell your boyfriend about my webinar on porn addiction.
Choosing the “Right” Accountability Partner
It's completely free - my gift to you. Study Guide and Leader's Guide Included. Type in your email address and a copy will be sent right to your inbox. Men who are accountability partners with one another often start their relationship with good intentions. Most often they want to be accountability partners because of the lustful temptations that swirl around them on a daily bases.
Argues that homophobia will not be eradicated in the United States until religion is ended. Slouching towards Gaytheism brings together two intellectual traditions the New Atheism and queer theory and moves beyond them to offer a new voice for gay Americans and atheists alike. Examining the continued vehemence of homophobia in cultural and political debate regarding queer equality, this unabashed polemic insists that the needs met by religion might be met more safely and less toxically by forms of community that do not harass and malign gay and lesbian Americans or impede collective social progress. Harris argues that compromises with traditional religion, no matter how enlightened or well intentioned, will ultimately leave heteronormativity alive and well.
Who’s Your REAL Accountability Partner?
We have a lot of husbands who use our accountability software. Some of them have really struggled in the past with viewing pornography online, and they are doing all they can to protect their eyes and their hearts from lustful images. Some husbands have not struggled with Internet porn, so they use our software to make sure they never do. There are many good reasons why accountability is healthy for marriage. Marriage thrives on openness, honesty, and vulnerability. In contrast, when husbands and wives are in the habit of keeping secrets from each other, this deteriorates communication and trust. Accountability is also important for Internet use.
A Bible Study for Men’s Accountability Partners
A father of two grown boys and a new grandfather, Michael and his wife, Christine, live in Gainesville, GA. Needless to say, I love what I do for a living. But I remember the many challenges I faced when starting out on my journey to freedom. One of the bigger challenges was the one staring me in the face 13 years ago as I was completing the online process of signing up as a new Covenant Eyes customer. The general public first became aware that the Internet even existed only about nine or ten years earlier.
If you have ever watched a documentary on wild animals, you probably know the two primary defenses these animals employ to protect themselves from predators. The animals that form herds or communities are constantly protected by their numbers. When attacked by prey, these animals flee danger together. Sticking together is absolutely an essential part of addiction recovery.
5 Important Tips for Choosing the Best Accountability Partner
If you are a wife wondering if your husband should be your accountability partner, simply switch the words around and this article will apply to you as well. The person every Christian is ultimately accountable to is God Psalm God, however, often uses his Church to discipline Christians 1 Corinthians 5. So there is a place to be disciplined by others such as an accountability partner.
In my work I with men struggling with pornography, I usually recommend they find accountability partners. This is needed to help achieve and maintain healthy sobriety. Many ask me who can be a suitable accountability partner. In this article I discuss what makes a good accountability partner. To do this, I first need to mention who should not be accountability partners. Being an accountability partner can intensify their trauma.
Should Your Wife Be Your Accountability Partner?
Alarming numbers of men, women, and teens struggle with frequent or habitual pornography use today. Among them are many faithful Catholics desperate for hope and healing. Peter Kleponis equips readers to embark on a path of recovery. Drawing heavily from Catholic teaching on human sexuality, Kleponis provides resources and insight for parents, educators, pastors, and all struggling to overcome an addiction to pornography. In this newly updated edition, Kleponis looks at new technologies, apps, and services that pose the biggest threat to Catholics today. He specializes in marriage and family therapy, pastoral counseling, and pornography addiction recovery. Kleponis travels throughout the country raising awareness of pornography addiction and offering hope for healing. Emmaus Road Publishing Amazon.
Wait a minute. According to whom? Jesus said that merely looking at a woman with lust is committing adultery. Time to get the accountability group together. It would really hurt her and I want to spare her the pain.
Christian Accountability Partner: A Beginner’s Guide
Often times, the goals we set are large, hearty and ambitious. And something about our assessment of our abilities suggests that, though large, these goals are attainable. Things tend to get tricky, however, after the goals are set and we are then charged with attaining said set goals. Our intention is always there.
No, I am not kidding, and if you read the e-mails I receive from readers, you would know I am not kidding. Maybe this whole accountability thing is not a big deal to men. After all, porn is just a given, right? Guys have it so easy , we think.
Если бы я сумел слегка модифицировать этот код, - продолжал Стратмор, - до его выхода в свет… - Он посмотрел на нее с хитрой улыбкой. Сьюзан потребовалось всего мгновение. Стратмор сразу заметил изумление, мелькнувшее в ее глазах, и взволнованно изложил свой план: - Если бы я получил ключ, то смог бы взломать наш экземпляр Цифровой крепости и внести нужные изменения… - Черный ход, - сказала Сьюзан, мгновенно забыв о том, что Стратмор ей лгал.
Она все поняла. - Вроде Попрыгунчика.
Дэвид. Паника заставила Сьюзан действовать. У нее резко запершило в горле, и в поисках выхода она бросилась к двери. Переступив порог, она вовремя успела ухватиться за дверную раму и лишь благодаря этому удержалась на ногах: лестница исчезла, превратившись в искореженный раскаленный металл.
Сьюзан в ужасе оглядела шифровалку, превратившуюся в море огня.
Да я вообще слова ему не сказал о деньгах. Я попросил оказать мне личную услугу. И он согласился поехать. - Конечно, согласился.